Turned out I was NOT pregnant. I was so relieved, but when I told Blaine he seemed down.
“What’s wrong Blainey? I asked as I sat down on his lap.”
“Oh nothing, babygirl.” He kissed me.
“Listen Mr. big bad vampire, you cannot fool me. You were really hoping to have knocked me up? Blaine, seriously, think!” I was shaking my head with the last sentence.
“I admit, I would not have hated it. But honestly, it was more your reaction to the sheer possibility of carrying my child, that worries me most. I find it a bit over the top, don’t you think? Back at the cabin, when we spun the little ‘what if?’ tale in bed, we both dreamt of a baby together. Why did it work for you then, but now frightens you more than a nuclear blast?”
“Blaine, that was a dream. A fantasy. And in it, we were both much younger. And both alive, if I may point that out again. I have no idea how co-parenting with a vampire is even supposed to work.”
“What is it with you and age? I never pegged you for the kind of woman who loses her mind over a grey hair and a wrinkle.” Blaine raised an eyebrow.
“It has nothing to do with grey hair and wrinkles. Neither of which I have – yet – I would like to point out.”
“Who knows, I have not seen your natural hair color in over a decade…”
“So? This is much more classy and prettier!”
“I always thought your dark blonde was pretty too.”
“Because you are a man, you have no sense for esthetics, fashion, etc. – and I just prefer not to look like a dingo.”
“Dingos are cute… and real.”
“So are hedgehogs, but I do not want to look like one. Wait, really? You liked my boring hair?”
“I loved your long, dark blonde hair. It was so much more ‘you’. I get it, you wanted to impress your rich lover, so you turned yourself into some Barbie doll, but honestly babygirl, to me that was always just as much a mask as my behavior.”
“Except my hairstyle never landed me in jail.”
“True. But back to the original topic, other than age, what would keep us from having a child together?”
“OK, Blaine. We both have several adult children already. One already has a toddler, some of them may end up having children of their own soon, meaning their little brother or sister would be just a few years – if that much – older than their kids. That is just a little too daytime talk show for my taste. Then I do not even know if my body would do another pregnancy. There could be tons of complications. My last one was twenty years ago. And also, remember, we do not have the space or the money. You agreed with me when I decided to give the entire divorce settlement to my children as college fund. Whatever I had in savings was eaten up by the move and the remainder will not last that much longer, meaning I will get a job, since you … can’t. So who would watch the baby? You? When daytime is your sleep time? And where would we even put it?”
“All right, let’s see. So we have older kids. I really do not think we would be the only couple in the world in such a scenario, so that objection is declined. Your body is fine, you are fit as a fiddle, I am no physician but I have literally seen every last inch of you and almost guarantee you would have no more problems than any other woman at any age. The money is a bit of an issue, I grant you that, but why would I not be able to provide? I won’t be able to find a job that pays stellar, but I could earn enough to see us through. As for space, I know you keep saying that your last baby was a while ago, so I will remind you that babies for the first few years of life do not need a fully furnished room with desks and bookshelves. We have that small second bedroom. All a baby or toddler needs is a place to sleep, a place to eat and a place to poop, toys and lots of love. I KNOW we can handle that. So, try again. Why no baby?”
“I cannot believe we are having this conversation …”
“Me either. We should be in the other room getting a head start on that baby making.” he smirked, while scooping me up as I was trying to fight him off, both laughing.
Laying in bed afterwards I turned to him and said drowsily, turning my head to look at him
“You do know that I am still on birth control?”
“Hmmm.” re replied, laying on his back, eyes closed.
“And you do know that means, this was just practice, right?”
“Or was it?” he opened his eyes to see my reaction and grinned.
“Oh nothing.” he chuckled.
“What did you do?” joking was off. I began to get nervous.
“Nothing illegal…” he grinned from ear to ear.
I sat up, looking at him, while poking him. Panic rose again.
“WHAT DID YOU DO? Oh my gawd, I am taking another test!”
He caught me in his arms and held on to me.
“No, need babygirl. You already failed your test. I am going to have to work harder on convincing you that we both want a child.”
Of course this whole baby-issue was the number one thing on my mind. Yes, theoretically I thought too it would be the height of all feelings for of our romance long time in the coming. But in reality I was just afraid. Raising kids had been scary to me. And my children and I had always been so close. I was truly disappointed how little I heard or saw of them now that they had grown up. If I wasn’t the one initiating the contact, there would probably not be any. Blaine’s son came to visit us and called often. His girls on the other hand, not a peep. Their relationship to both of us had taken a dive since the wedding. My relationship with my mother had been close, from birth to her death, we saw each other often, without fail. I told her EVERYTHING. Naturally I had assumed it would be the same with my children. Wrong. I did not even know whom each of my kids were dating now, but I knew from Blaine’s son, that Marcella had married my younger brother. I had no idea they even knew each other.
Blaine’s ex-wife Olivia had remarried. A Vanderbilt, no less. No wedding invitations for either of us from nobody, and there were a number for weddings and break ups. We seemed to be always the last to learn. Through his vampire grapevine Blaine found out long before anybody told me that Petruccio and Lilith had gotten divorced. I had even seen Ezio at least ten times since the fact and there was no way he would not know. Eventually, I quit trying.
And then there was this other issue with our living quarters. At first moving into my old apartment had felt so cool and right. Now, after living here for almost a year, I recalled why I liked a house better. The neighbors were noisy and not very eager to change that, no matter how many times we complained. Something was always broken, the trash chute always jammed. It was a nightmare.
So one night at dinner – meaning I was eating dinner and Blaine was just keeping me company – I brought it up. Surprisingly, he was on board with it. So with the last of my savings we went house hunting. It was almost Fall again, so the afternoons were already pretty dark and afternoon viewing appointments were no problem. Blaine was WAY too upbeat about all this. I suspected that he probably thought this meant I was ready for an addition to the family. I disliked disappointing him. While he never complained, and was still loving and his boyish self, I knew that my resistance to a mutual child hurt him. Well, I never wanted ANY children, nor get married. Here I was mother of two grown kids and on my third, and this time last, marriage. Part of me just wanted to let go, just get off birth control and see what happens. But there was this other part of me, the part that was always afraid.
If you have ever been house hunting on a budget and thought it was a dreadful experience, I would not recommend doing it with a vampire spouse. I loved the very modern houses, but without fail, they were way out of budget. Many others were just not doable for a vampire for various reasons. Then finally we found a small home, originally someone’s vacation home, right by the beach in Brindleton Bay. Yup, the very same town where my ex-husband lived. We went to see it anyway. It was well within our means, even with all the upgrading it would need to make it inhabitable year-round. Picking out furniture and décor was also interesting. As all the times before, Blaine just did not seem to care, he let me choose and had little input. And then there were those vampire-specific things I just kept forgetting. Like picking out mirrors. I laid into him for not helping me, until he pointed out that mirrors to him were really pretty much just decorative frames at this point, as vampires had no mirror image. I loved the view of the ocean, but it had to be covered up … daylight and vampires did not mix so well. But the best moment was when we first went to see the house with the realtor, a rather annoyingly talkative and pushy variety to begin with. She showed us around the house and finally we got to a small bedroom.
“This would just be perfect for a small home office – or a little nursery!”
Argh, there it was again. Just when I thought the topic had finally been swept under a rug. Due to her waterfall of words, there was a small hope that Blaine had missed it. But no.
“You hear that babygirl? Perfect for a nursery!” he smirked.
“I heard. Or a home office, did you hear that?” I retorted.
“Oh the potential! There is another, slightly larger bedroom on top of the master … which would be wonderful as well. This could be a nursery when you need it and a guest room when the little one is old enough to move into the bigger bedroom. Would you like to see it?”
“Of course we would!” Blaine chimed in, pulled me with him.
The realtor now kept refering back to nurseries and kid’s rooms, since she felt like that had struck a chord with my husband. I was ready to jump into the nearby ocean.
We saw the rest of the home and she kept poking for me to comment. Finally I was done.
“So again, this is the master bedroom, but naturally you could always use this as the kid’s room and the little nursery could be a guest room… what do you think, Mrs. Cameron?”
I was engrossed in thoughts, of babies and home decor, that I just replied
“Yeah sure, guest rooms are the shit!”
That had shut her up, and caused Blaine to burst into laughter.
We renovated as much as our dwindling funds would allow, we both found jobs, me back in an office job, and Blaine moonlighted as a bartender. We moved in, we settled in and everything was just comfy and cozy, except that nagging question of how bad it would really be if Blaine and I were to procreate …
Turned out I was NOT pregnant. I was so relieved, but when I told Blaine he seemed down.